RSSBabes and Bullets: Will I Get Lucky or Will I Get Shot
21 Feb 2009 Comments Off
in Movies
Let’s flashback for a moment to the 1971 Clint Eastwood film Dirty Harry. Eastwood as the eponymous ‘Dirty Harry’ Callahan has the drop on a wounded bank robber. Harry loves his weapon — the Smith & Wesson .44 Magnum — nearly as much as he loves using it.
Well, Harry taunts and tempts the criminal to think about gambling with his life by trying to escape:
“…I know what you’re thinking. Did he fire six shots or only five? Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I’ve kinda lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you’ve got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well do ya, punk?”
When Harry Callahan said it, we cheered from the safety of our movie theater seats, or more recently we were thrilled as we watched the video in the safety of our own living rooms or dens. But what if a woman, holding a handgun, and pointing the business end of it at you, made a similar statement. I don’t want to be in that position, do you?
But apparently many men think of a gun-wielding woman as a special kind of fantasy situation. For some, this is even a fetish. To use Inspector Callahan’s words, but not to quote him here,I know what you’re thinking. Some guys get married to lady police officers, undercover agents, FBI agents, Secret Service agents, and other unnamed enforcers. Others have lady friends on the either side of the law who are packing a loaded handgun as well as a fully loaded bra under their coats. But we all hope we don’t run into these types unexpectedly or while they are ‘working’, right?
Cinema has loved to put weapons into the hands of women because it sells tickets. Let’s see, just for fun, do you remember these recent and not so recent major ass-kickers: Carrie Ann Moss (two above) from The Matrix and Lucy Liu from Ballistic: Ecks vs Sever (above)?
Here’s a few that likely you won’t know. First (above and below) there’s Gigi Leung in War of Desire. In a must-see Thailand bar shoot-out she just can’t miss as she blows away literally dozens of bad guys.
Japanese star Asato Seto (above and below) plays a professional hit-woman who is so adept with a weapon, that she can pump three shots into you in such a way that you will remain conscious as you slowly bleed to death. In the feature, Bullets of Love, you can watch her technique multiple times. She will hit you on one side, then the opposite shoulder, then put one into your throat.
Then there’s Anita Mui (above) who challenges then saves Chow Yun-Fat in A Better Tomorrow III (below left). In post-war Saigon, she helps send an army of bad-guys to meet their maker in a legendary scene. This Tsui Hark directed movie is from 1989.
Our next example of a woman you won’t want to mess with is Almen Wong in Her Name is Cat (above right and below). She’s capable of bone-breaking mayhem with a handgun, a long-range scoped rifle, or just her bare hands.
This column was originally published in the February 2003 issue of Also on Video which is no longer available on the net. But 6 years have gone by so we thought we’d update it with some newer and/or different pistol packing mamas.
Right up there with the baddest of the bad must be Angelina Jolie as Lara Croft.
Don’t mess with her. You’ve been warned. Want some more? In rapid-fire (no pun intended)
Kate Beckinsdale from Underworld (above and below).
Milla Jovovich in Resident Evil (above).
Annie Parillaud (above) as La Femme Nikita in the movie and below is Peta Wilson from the TV Series of the same name.
Cynthia Khan from assorted Hong Kong flicks (below).
Even Jennifer Lopez who is more widely known for the shape of her ass than for any bad-ass roles got into the act (above).
and Three of the MOST memorable – Sigourney Weaver as Ripley in Alien,
Linda Hamilton as Sarah Connor in Terminator 2,
and finally, Pam Grier who had so many roles with guns, that we will call this a Lifetime Achievement Award.
More recently, from Japan, and not nearly so ‘theatrical’ as Jolie’s Croft is Ryoko Shinohara who starred in the police television series Unfair in 2006. Actually Detective Yukihara had the highest arrest rate in the Tokyo Metropolitan Police Department. She’d blow away a bad guy when necessary or even when not necessary a la the aforementioned Inspector Harry Callahan. Needless to say, she was often in trouble with her superiors on the force.
Also from Japan, we have Gun Crazy . Supermodel Ryoko Yonekura stars as the gun toting heroine Saki who is on the trail of the vicious crime lord, Tojo. The police won’t arrest him and the military won’t go near him, but in this dangerous game of cat and mouse, Saki knows you don’t send a man to do a woman’s job.
An over-the-top example would certainly be Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino’s Planet Terror which was part of the Grindhouse double feature. Rose McGowan sported something other than the standard pair of legs that most of us are equipped with from birth. Somehow, I can’t see McGowan’s character Cherry being successful in a seduction, can you?
In 2008, Japan upped the ante on Tarantino. The movie was called Machine Girl. In this film blood spurts become blood sports, limbs are severed as easily as pruning a tree, and there’s more mayhem than you might see in a cattle slaughterhouse even on a busy day.
Actress Minase Yashiro, who has graced our pages as a gravure model here, seeks revenge on the mobsters that killed her parents. So she goes after them, and loses an arm in the process.
Faster than you can say Ironman, or Robocop, she returns to the fray with her missing limb replaced by a machine gun. That’s what you might call a real trigger finger.
When watching this movie, wear your imaginary plastic raincoat because you’re going to get drenched in blood.
All in all, the last thing you expect when you are trying to get a woman into your arms is the feel of cold steel pressing against your forehead. There are much nicer ways to end an evening. But you never know. That mild mannered ‘secretary’ may be more, much more than you thought.
If you have an opportunity or choice between foreplay or gun-play, there’s not much to think about is there? So, to have a look at some kinder and gentler babes who are much more likely to rigged up in a bikini, like Minase Yashiro above, than a bullet proof vest, and, I guarantee that they will make you smile rather than run for cover – visit our pages often.