RSSMilky – Yuna Kawase
23 Oct 2006 5 Comments
in Reviews
So it was Saturday the 22nd. The EMS Tracking says my package left Tokyo on the afternoon of the 19th. The plane had arrived at JFK Airport, New York, in mid morning of the 20th. My package cleared customs around 4:30 in the afternoon of the 20th. I knew all this because I able to track the package. Anyway, my local post office was going to have it Saturday, so I waited and waited, expecting delivery. At 3:45 PM I said, “Screw it, I’m going out for a walk!”
Of course, the package arrived 7 minutes later. Which means I didn’t get it until Sunday. The moral of the story is never wait for a package, because it won’t come until you leave your home or apartment; yadda yadda…
I was looking forward to receiving these new DVDs from Japan, and had decided in advance to watch and review the Milky DVD which starred the cute and very busty Yuna Kawase, before the rest. Moral of that story – be smart, save the best for last. Because if you start with the best; it’s all downhill after that. This turned out to a correct decision. Read on.
Fact: Yuna Kawase is cute and very busty, even ‘astoundingly busty’ is an apt description. And half the music in the DVD is superb. The opening shot is of a pretty cake with seven strawberrys. So much for the good news.
Fact: Milky is a ridiculously poorly made DVD. If it wasn’t for Yuna; I wouldn’t even do the review. Let me tell you why.
There’s a scene with Yuna in an onsen, or a hot springs. We might call it a hot-tub here in the states. Fine. There’s music playing and there’s also a sound effect of water. However it isn’t what you might expect, as in a soft gurgling. Instead it is the sound of the ocean with one gentle wave after another softly arriving on shore then receeding back to the sea.
What makes this even more pathetic is that after that scene ends, Yuna is sitting on a chair surrounded by some potted plants. No sign of the water, no sign of the steam. But the sound of the ocean continues – even as the director gives his model some new and audible on screen directions for this scene which is completely unrelated to the onsen scene. AND there’s a piano solo playing as well. Three separate audio tracks for a visual of a girl sitting in a chair?????
In one of the worst sequences in the history of gravure idol videos, the director has Yuna lying on a leather couch. She has both hands covering her face and partially covering her breasts. We are still able to see her cleavage. The camera slowly withdraws a bit then slowly heads in closer. For about 45 to 50 seconds, or almost a minute, the director allows Yuna to keep both hands up covering her face. We can see her eyes through her fingers but none of her facial features. Five seconds? Well okay. Nearly a full minute? Truly unheard of.
Then there’s more in the way of misguided sound effects. How about a series of loud crashing whooshes as the camera makes a quick zoom in. At least four of them which are followed by the sounds you hear after a jet plane has passed by overhead. I think they call it ‘afterburn’. Why is this in this video? I’m still scratching my head on that question.
Then there’s a shaky camera here and there, and generally bad and inexplicable editing. When the handheld camera wanders off course and actually loses sight of the model – they don’t even think of editing that error out; it is left in.
Then, it’s as if they are sitting at the editing console, and the director says to his cutter, “What does this button do?” He has no clue. So you get some inexplicable wipe or video effect.
Some of the editing effects defy comprehension. Like a particular circle wipe. A small circle appears in the center of the image, and as it grows a completely different scene begins to appear within. Only as soon as the circle completes it expansion, completely covering the current scene, and even before you can fully appreciate what the new scene is, he cuts back to the original scene. So why was the wipe executed at all? Oh, because you can make this happen, therefore you must make it happen. Bah!
But this was pretty much of a standard technique throughout. Two scenes are cut back and forth. First this one then that one and then back. Over and over. Only one has Yuna in a striped bikini against a floral setting, and the other has Yuna in a white bikini against an all-white seamless background. Not only are the cuts jarring and senseless and badly paced – but this is within the same piece of music.
By the way – the Spanish accoustic guitar music was fabulous, but they also included a Viennese waltz, and a badly played piano solo. Neither of which fit the visuals. Aaargh!
One more serious gaffe – there’s Yuna in a bikini – against a white backdrop. The scene hasn’t got enough light. We see the director/camera man’s shadow. For seconds on end…and it is even bigger than the model. Give me a break!
Okay you get the idea. Yuna has massive boobs. And, as you can see, her boobs are worthy of a lot of attention. I hope the Takeshobo, E-Frontier Net, and I-One producers get her before their cameras, because the guys who made this DVD are just at the beginning of a major learning curve.
Oh yeah. They called it Milky. Why? Because Yuna is seen gradually drinking a glass of milk in an extended sequence. Not one drop of the milk falls into her awesome cleavage. Now that is definitely an unexpected and disappointing reversal of fortune for all of us viewers.
On the label of the DVD – it actually says, Our First DVD. They should have also said – we shot this in half of one day -the same day we bought our first camera. Hold on, I’m just kidding. It only seems that way. Maybe they mean their first DVD with Yuna, as Kazoo Planning is an established corporation with 10 separate specific labels under their umbrella, and many, many titles already released Or maybe it was Yuna’s first DVD as she spent alot of time tugging up her bikini bra cups. Either way, but we won’t hold it against Ms Yuna Kawase.
Two point zero, and Yuna earns all the points.
Milky – Yuna Kawase
Kenworks and Kazoo Planning – Producers
http://www.kazoo-tv.com/scim-03.html
http://www.play-asia.com/paOS-13-71-ag-49-en-15-Yuna%2BKawase-70-1dtw.html
Sep 26, 2007 @ 18:08:19
Phenomenal summary talking about Milky – Yuna Kawase! Thoroughly enjoy this interesting posts!
Dec 04, 2007 @ 03:22:25
Hi, you have a jolly good post here, thanks for the good read
Jul 24, 2008 @ 08:05:18
dude, you must be some kind of secret admirer. I went to college with her on 2005, but I think she quit. I lost contact with her after that. The funny thing man, she used to talk to me about her liking a boy LOL
And 2 days ago, while browsing I found her gravure video, it blew me off man.
if you have any way to contact her, can you please tell me how?
TKS man
Jul 24, 2008 @ 08:19:34
Hey man, I’m on the net – ain’t no secret. Lots of guys like Yuna-chan’s good looks and amazing body. She had the goods but never got to work with a top-notch outfit.
So her DVD’s aren’t exactly special.
So you went to school with and lost touch. Pity. Sorry man, I’m in the USA in Florida, and I have zero ways to get in touch with Kawase-san.
Anyway thanks for the comment and thank for checking out my website.
jmm